As you can tell, our weekly rant has been cancelled this week.
Our Billikens sit at 5-6, dropping 6 of the last 7 and sucking harder than ever. The eight people that read this blog already know this, so there isn’t a whole lot of value in elaborating on the hunk of turd that is Billiken Basketball.
So, Santa, this post is for you. I know it’s late notice but I would really appreciate it if you could take into consideration my list below. But by no means does this negate the list that I previously sent you, I still totally want that 18″ doll of Freddie Mercury.
- A win against K-State. I know this is a big ask, but a quality win against a 9-2 Big Twelve opponent could be the spark this program needs.
- Improvement from Matt Neufeld. I’m pleading with you to not let this kid suck more than he already does. Didn’t you read my post about how he’s the future? I look like an idiot right now.
- A suit that fits for Calbert Cheaney. This is a huge distraction for me when I watch the games, much like Majerus’ back fat (RIP) used to be. The big difference being that I would gladly see Majerus’ back fat again.
- A .500 season from here on out. You’re probably laughing at me right now, but in the beginning of the year we thought this was possible. Is it still? We’ll do an A10 preview soon.
- Aaron Hines to dunk the ball during warm-ups. I loved Aaron Hines as a walk-on. He costs you nothing, obviously has a love for the game, and supposedly can windmill dunk at 6 foot nothing. I hate him as a scholarship player. Something about that cross-over makes me expect something out of him, and he’s totally useless. So unless he gets creative in his warmups I want him off the team.
- A mid-season retirement announcement from Jim Crews. This would provide SLU the much needed time to perform a public search of a coach. There are many quality candidates out there, and you have to think SLU is a somewhat desirable location. Kevin Lisch as an assistant???? 🙂 🙂 😛
- Transfer announcement from Brett Jolly. My hatred of Jolly started out all fun and games; he’s been my much needed scape goat and when he’s gone, I’ll simply replace him with some other dufus. But I’m beginning to think he’s actually bad for the team. He’s a limited playing punk with some unwarranted chip on his shoulder. He demands my hatred.
I feel like all of those are doable? Right?
Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, everyone.